{September 14, 2011}   7 Days

It’s only 7 Days till arrival at Uni, and I have to admit the nerves are starting to get to me, just a little. At least I think so – it comes & goes in waves.

Some days I feel like whatever happens it’ll be fine, I’ll find someone or they’ll find me and even if we’re not meant to be best-friends-foreverest we’ll be happy together till we find the right buddies.

Then it’ll slowly flip and I’m worried that things’ll be worse than pear-shaped. That my flatmates will be too different in character to bond or will grate on me, that my non-alcoholism, general lack of energy and dislike of loud & crowded places will mean I’ll either avoid lots of the big events or become totally mute from the stress of it all. Afraid that I won’t befriend anyone strongly, that I will get friends but they’ll prefer the other more conventional people who can start conversations with others that aren’t based on wanting something from them.

Then I realise that I enjoy being alone too. I love going for walks around town, pursuing my sense of curiosity, having tea in a café with a good viewpoint for people watching (pot of Earl Grey, 1st floor of John Lewis, overlooking area outside Cardiff Library, ah, peace), etc. I really enjoy living at my own pace. Of course I want friends and romances and what-have-yous, but it’s in no way like my world hinges on them! And anyway, Freshers isn’t the only time you can make friends. You will, but even if you don’t… The point is that everyone’s in the same situation and there’s someone and some scene for everyone.

Well that was a nice train ‘o’ thought blog. Y’know if you write out all the worries that pop into your head you can see how silly they all are. I don’t even need to come up will a convincing logical & emotion-bolstering conclusion, just realise that I’m happy either way and that the worries have little realism anyway :}

Then again, I bet I’ll go through all this again soon. Social nerves & fears care not for reality, brainpower hogging bastards- I’ll Be Free of You Both One Day!!

…one day.



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