{September 21, 2011}   Leaving and Arriving

I’m finally going to University today. It really doesn’t feel like it’s happening, like I’m just going on holiday with friends again. I’m hurriedly packing and choosing my favourite, most useful books & clothes while the computer uploads the last of my parents’ CDs into iTunes. I know I’m packing far too much but then again, I am packing up my life. How are you supposed to do that? It’s not quite as simple as only taking what you need. It’s like I have to choose what stays a part of me. What books do i take? What I haven’t read, what I’ll definitely read again, what inspires me… And then clothes – should I be packing for every eventuality? Surely no shorts for Autumn/Winter? How many jackets/hoodies/jumpers? What about my poncho?

Anyway, time’s flying so I ought to just concentrate on getting it done.


Well here I am. Cardiff.

I’m sitting in my room with a mug of tea brewed with a new travel kettle, a complementary teabag and soya milk from home, all together in my favourite mug. It’s bizarre. This is my room. I mean really, it’s mine. It’s not the same as having your own bedroom at home, or your own studyroom at school. This really is my room. The walls are tacky and bare, and the grand but ugly-looking noticeboard on the opposite me has a large, quite blank ‘student wallplanner’ (courtesy of the Students’ Union) stuck across the centre. I’m listening to Elbow (‘An Audience With The Pope’ is incredible) while I write and occasionally get hypnotised by the world outside my window (you know, where you look out for some reason and then 30 seconds later you snap out of it). I’ve adorned one wall with a bed cover to make it look a little warmer, the bed is made and my 4 chosen toys are at their perches. My guitar in it’s embarassing case is opposite & I keep wondering if I should play it, which is always followed by a ‘No, if I’m going to do anything it should be unpacking’, which is promptly followed by my ignoring both previous thoughts and disappearing on a random topic.

When I arrived I had a nice easy registration at the halls of residence and was greeted by 2 enthusiastic helpers, offering to help with our bags. Naturally we took advantage. Naturally I felt a little bad about it. A long story short, ~4 hours later, Ma & Bro had left and the happy helpers and I are buds. Neat-o. Particularly great considering how quiet it is in the flat at the moment. 2 others have arrived, but both have disappeared shortly after. That and the weather’s going a little gloomier.

Well, it may be quiet around here but it’s given me the chance to get used to this whole phenomenal change. I’ve worked towards it for so long that now I’m here, it feels like everything else that went before was just some dream or a story. I only continued at school so that I could have the University life in Cardiff, and for that I suffered a fair amount. Now that I’m here, I almost can’t remember it at all. It’s all been leading to this.

Now that I’m here I’m wondering if I made the right choice leaving certain things behind. Like the new Derren Brown book, ‘Confessions of a Conjuror’. He’s one of those rare people who can write about the tiniest moments and explode them up in fantastic detail – it’s incredibly engaging. Then again I shouldn’t be surprised by his style. After all this is someone who picks up on minute details to speed-read people for a profession and hobby. It makes sense that his book would be full of minute details laid entirely bare. I’m obviously thinking too much about this – it’s only 1 book and I have many more. I didn’t even think of it till I sat here to write & reflect. Anyway, with less distractions like that I’ll be able to work more on my hobbies and actually producing results. After all, that is what I’m here for really. I can always read at home. I guess this is just the way homesickness is manifesting at this early period.

I was planning to go to a ‘First To Arrive’ Freshers party, but I’m really not in the mood anymore – I’m totally zonked & emotionally low. I’m very happy to be here, being totally independent in a city that I love, but my god am I tired. I was going to have tea but it sounds like we have non-roommate company & I’m not in the mood for introductions, so I’ll just have some chocolate & go to bed. Will be happier tomorrow :}

G’night xoo

p.s. Apparently it’s illegal to purchase CUTLERY if you’re under 21. Yup, 21. Cutlery.

They must’ve got scared after watching Alan Rickman as the Sheriff of Nottingham.

Sometimes I wish I was Alan Rickman. If I was Alan Rickman, I could buy cutlery.



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