{December 3, 2011}   I Am A Hypnotist. Gimme Your Food.

Sometimes the idea of this being a place in which I force myself to be totally honest & include all I can… makes me quite uncomfortable. I was going to say it’s the English ‘stiff-upper-lip’ thing, but it’s really more like Spock, pretending that that emotion does not exist. I’ve said more personally revealing things before, but this all feels much more personal in some way… When in doubt, do what you can which makes you uncomfortable! This post is a long one, but if you’re interested in hypnosis or the psychosis of a wannabe-hobbyist-magician or student, then this should be quite worth it. There’s also a basic outline for creating hypnosis scripts about 1/2 the way through.



On Wednesday I met with friends for lunch. We probably should have been with the rest of the University, protesting the pension cuts, but I knew too little to be an effective protester anyway. Oddly, my friends got their meals within the estimated 1-hour wait time (very crowded due to people away from jobs, “protesting”) – very elaborate, pork belly steaks and hot pots – while I had to wait the full hour for my beef in a bread roll with chips. Food is my weakness. As soon as I bit in they were forgiven for the crazy waiting time. Ah. Sorry – re-imagining the meal.


Afterwards, I went back with my friend to her place for a good ol’ sleepover. She’s Finnish, so naturally we watched an episode of Conan. We had a laugh about the milkshake shop with shakes named after people (“I’ll have a regular Dave” “Who ordered the large Alan?”. Alan is very tasty by the way). Then I did something unusual. I was worried that if I share it’ll belittle the experience and make it less special. But my instinct here is to share absolutely… I want my life to be an open book. My instincts are telling me to share my life. I wish you could hear me say this, because on the screen I think it’s reading very ‘love me because of my humility!’ That’s not me. Edit: My friend approves of my sharing. Awesome.


Me and my friend sat down on the sofa, and I spent a couple of minutes hypnotising her. DISCLAIMER: Hypnosis in real life is not “look into my eyes – and now you’re under my spell! Mwahaha!” It’s more like controlling the mental state of another so that they’re more receptive to ideas such as positive affirmations or eating an onion for the enjoyment of paying spectators. But in the case that I used it, it’s entirely the former. It’s a state which is created by the subject being both open to the idea, relaxed, and trusting in the hypnotist. You may trust someone like Derren Brown as a hypnotist because you know he’s very good at it and very experienced. In my case, I’m trusted for our friendship, my positive intent and my good character (that’s about as close as I get to bragging right there). Also I’m told I have a good voice for it. What she didn’t know was that rather than spending some time before attempting to remember the basis of the script that I’d read this morning in my new book on cold-reading, I was making one up. I feel really bad for lying, but it had a great effect that I hope outweighs the fact that I lied to someone who placed so much trust in me.



I started by explaining the hypnosis myths as myths – it’s not mind-control, it’s actually about trust and willingness and ability to relax, etc. As a hypnotist, you absolutely must create some feeling of power, confidence, experience and/or trust. The more you have, the more powerful & effective your sessions will be. So if you’re a beginner, you may need to lie and pretend you’re already awesome, or be slightly more honest and explain how you’ve studied it a lot (I have) and you have a professional-made script (LIE) and that you think they’d find it interesting and beneficial (she did). Then I began;

1) Prepping to get her into the right state. This included some relaxation and awareness instructions (in particular the importance of focusing on my voice & what I say), and to keep it up throughout, a short breathing exercise that I repeated throughout the session. All with eyes closed of course.

2) Once in an open state, I used positive affirmations, all around the theme of luck and general optimism, repeating the idea of ‘good things coming to you, and you accepting them fully’. As I did this, I quietly removed from my bag a pre-wrapped package with the words “Hello, I’m a good thing. Nice to meet you!” written on the front, and placed it on the sofa.

3) Once I’d given all the messages I’d set out to, I started to bring her gently out of the hypnotic state. A positive ending is just as important as a positive start. It should be like waking up from a very pleasant dream, say where you saved the world AND held hands with someone you love & admire. You need to bring them back to reality gently, so that they’re alert and ready to get on with things, but also keep all of those feelings and affirmations acquired in the session all muddling around. A good way to do this is combine the ideas within a visual metaphor. For example, I said to imagine a staircase, and that with every step down, she’d get closer and closer to being alert and awake, and to generic good things that were guaranteed to come into her life.

Then, she ‘woke up’, gave me a testimonial that I should have recorded, and noticed the present.



A few days ago she said she’d love to have a pair of new, red leather gloves with a circular hole at the wrist with a band around. I decided I couldn’t live without gloves in this freezing cold, so I went looking for new ones and found the perfect pair – just as she’d described except with a heart-shaped hole. Perfect for me too. I bought 2 & wrapped one up for her. I’m not a fan of birthdays. And I only like Christmas because it brings the family together. Don’t get me wrong – LOVE piles of presents with chocolate and a big roast by a log fire and a Christmas tree and so on… But I really dislike the whole idea of buying presents for someone because it’s a certain day. In that sense I’ve abandoned Christmas and birthdays. Instead, friends and family can expect to get no presents on ‘special’ days, but to get gifts and displays of affection on apparently random dates, any time of year. Isn’t that much better? I don’t want to show affection because it’s the day that I’m expected to. I want to show affection because I have affection that I want to share.


Anyway, I wanted to share what the experience of being a hypnotist was like. I don’t think that I’ve ever read about the hypnotist’s experience. Maybe I’m offering something unique. Cool.

It is very strange. For however many minutes, someone is paying full attention to everything that you’re saying and the way you say it. They are putting their full trust in you. When I was coming up with the initial idea I was trying to come up with a sneaky comedy routine in which I could use the ‘eyes-closed’ format to steal some food from my friend’s plate. This was very quickly abandoned, as I identified food-theivery as the most heinous of betrayals one can do to a friend. When I saw the gloves, the trick became a treat. With that in mind, I cannot emphasise enough how bizarre it was to see evidence of someone putting all their trust in me. As someone with a bit of a prankster/magician’s mindset, it is just incredible to be able to see how strong the trust is, and then reward it. As a magician, you do reward with entertainment, but underlying it all is that fact that you’re lying to do so. With hypnosis… it’s pure.


I still want to pursue magic as my main hobby, but I sure as heck am gonna keep up with this hypnosis malarky.


I need to go eat now.




Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

et cetera
%d bloggers like this: